Dear Mr. Peanuts

Mr.Peanuts is the nickname I gave to a very upset passenger I once had the delight to serve. Mr.Peanuts wanted — you guessed it — peanuts, and only peanuts. But I could only offer him pretzels or cookies. I explained to him the airline's policy: if one passenger was known to have a peanut allergy, NO PEANUTS FOR NOBODY.

I will be honest. Mr.Peanuts was not the first passenger to make the "this is sooooo unfair" face, but usually that face only lasted a second. People realized it was not the end of the world if they didn't have their five salted peanut intake during their two hour flight and they awkwardly smiled while asking for cookies instead, hoping I didn't see their initial childish disappointment. Not this guy. He stuck to this face:

“Did you check if she was really allergic? Are you sure she is?"

I wanted to say so much, but nothing came out. I froze.

"So, did you?"

"Well yes Sir ... Of course I did. I force fed her a few peanuts, she started hyperventilating and stopped breathing, I waited until she turned really red and was grasping for her last breath — just for fun — and then I finally stabbed her with her expensive Epipen to save her life."

That's what I wish I could have said, but as I said in a previous post, I did not start my flight attendant career with the intent of getting fired nor of going to jail, so neither did I say what I really wanted to say nor did I hit Mr.Peanuts with a bag of cookies.

I asked again: "pretzels or cookies?" and I even smiled because I refused to get upset for ... peanuts!

Happy New Year everyone, even you Mr.Peanuts if you are reading this :-) and if you are, this is for you and every person out there getting mad at flight attendants over peanuts, pretzels or cookies: