Dear Passengers (Part 1)

I will not complain about pouring Diet Cokes. Of course it annoys me that it takes so long for the bubbles to dissipate. It annoys you too, doesn't it? To have to wait an extra fifteen seconds for your Diet Coke while your neighbor already finished half his apple juice, but if that is what you really want, no problem with me. I have made peace with it. It is part of my job after all ....

But I am OK with it, most days -:) 

However, dear passenger, I don't grow fruits in the back of the plane to make fresh smoothies, and I cannot make an espresso at 30 000 feet in the air, let alone a macchiato topped with powdered cocoa.

I couldn't even do this on firm ground sorry.

So aside from serving you delightful Diet Coke and super amazing peanuts, and saving your life during an emergency, I don't have many talents. So next time, dear passenger, before asking me the unaskable, take a hard look at my uniform.

Do you see a mechanic uniform? No. So why ask me to explain how come one of our tires has just lost air while we were about to take off? I promise you, I did not pop the tire, even though I have to admit I didn't wake up this morning excited to fly to Birmingham. 

Now my turn to ask you a few questions: did you wake up this morning wanting to die? Are you aware that you won't make your connection if we don't take a delay to fix the problem or do I have to explain to you the concept of landing without a tire? And lastly dear passenger, do you feel powerful when yelling at me? If you do, perhaps I should let you in to a little secret: the minute you started creaming, I stopped listening. Contrary to what you may think, I was not hired as a punching ball.

I am also not wearing a nanny uniform, am I? So I get that the baby crying is annoying you. I will bet you it is annoying the other 300 passengers just as much - aside from the rich people who can afford those expensive Bose noise canceling headsets - but ma'am you are the only one who seem to think that I can "shut the baby up." Her words not mine. Also you hinting that I should "do something about it" is really disturbing.

VERY TRUE, but not my fault ... 

"Well if you are not going to do anything about it, can you at least tell me when it will stop?" Well no I can't. Again if you check out my uniform, I am not wearing a gypsy headband and holding a crystal ball.

I am NOT a psychic lady!

So sorry, the only ETA I have is our landing time. And even that tends to change a bit, so next time you fly, give yourself a bit of cushion time. And FYI, planning two hours between landing and your cruise's departure time is not enough cushion time people ... not even if we land on time. 

More to come soon ...