Yes, she is single AND happy


I wish girls were more like guys. If they are happy, it's all good. If they are not, it's over. No talking about it for hours and hours and hours ... day after day ... month after month ... They just break up! And move on.

Every time I meet up with girlfriends, it seems we mainly talk about issues ... related to guys. As soon as a girlfriend goes from being in a relationship to single, all she will hear is: "have you met anyone since?" A girlfriend even went as far as telling another girlfriend who is single that she was faking to be happy, because she couldn't possibly really be happy ... and single. It was not possible.

Ironically this advice came from a girl currently in a very unhappy relationship. Anyone see the irony here?

Unfortunately, she is not the only one in this situation. Most girls would rather stay in an unhappy relationship than risk being single.

Of course, whether a girl or a guy we shouldn't give up when the issues arise. Efforts are needed to make relationships work. Giving up some part of us to make the new "us" work is normal. Disagreeing is normal. Fighting is sometimes even needed.

But where do we draw the line? How do we know we gave up too much and it is time to give up on the other person? I wish there were some sort of mathematic formula. Not that I like math, I never did, but math is simple. 1+1=2 nothing less nothing more.

So finding no math formula, I decided the next best thing was Google. And here is what Google came up with - aka Dr.Neder, an ordained minister and author of Being a Man in a Woman's World.

"If you aren't getting what you want or need from being with someone, it's time to move on," says Dr. Neder.

Seems quite simple, right? If you used to be a happy person, the life of the party, and now you are always pissed off and your friends avoid you, something is probably wrong.

But this simple explanation doesn't usually suffice for girls. Most girls stay in unhappy relationships, long after all their friends told them to get out. Why?

Being alone is scary, apparently.

I say apparently because I don't think it is.

Try remembering the days you were single ... It might be a while ago, but think hard. Remember those carefree weekend with nobody but you to decide what to do. Party all night Friday throughout Saturday 10 am ... Or pass out at 8 pm watching Netflix with nobody to answer to ... Or fly to a random city with random people for a random weekend ... Not one care in the world .. Tempting, huh? I bet even if you are in a super happy relationship, right now you are daydreaming of that kind of weekend.

And no I am not single and trying to say that being single is better than being a relationship. I am just saying being single or in a relationship doesn't define happiness.



I am in a relationship, and happy; but if I weren't happy, I wouldn't stay. I would give up, not because I am weak, but because me being unhappy is not fun for anyone, not for me, not for him, and especially not for my family and friends who have to hear me complain about it 24/7.

Yes, sometimes giving up means you are strong, not weak. It means you are strong enough to move on instead of staying stuck. You tried your best, you gave it your best shot and you are done. You are not giving up on love ... You are giving up on unhappiness.

*Disclaimer: if you break up after reading this post, the not so blonde brain cannot and will not be held responsible -:)

Good weekend everyone, whether cuddling with your significant other or partying in Vegas with your hot girlfriends.

I will be cuddling -:) and proofreading Chapter 1 of Book 2 -:) -:)

Comments

  1. AnonymousFebruary 4, 2014 at 6:37 PM

    You're writing style is quite amazing. Great work!
    Follow my blog (if you feel like it ofcourse) at http://cocoaandchanel.com/
    Hope you like it! <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. UnknownFebruary 5, 2014 at 1:25 AM

      I did. Love the Valentines outfit. And your writing style.
      Thanks for stoping by ... Come again -:)

      Delete
  2. Ellie February 5, 2014 at 1:20 PM

    PERFECT! Seriously took the words out of my scattered brain and put them into a post. I LOVE being single but I (usually) LOVE being in a relationship. Happiness is the most important aspect but so many of my (girl)friends don't see it that way! Thanks for the great words! Will be sharing <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. UnknownFebruary 5, 2014 at 5:05 PM

      Thanks for the great comment ... Posting in the hour my latest thought ... Wonder if you will agree again -:)
      PS my brain is very much scattered so of course, the next post is totally unrelated to this one.

      Delete
  3. NikkiediditFebruary 5, 2014 at 5:18 PM

    Loved the Article, I started out my younger years dating back to back and then coming to the conclusion I needed to be single for awhile(so i can figure out who I am). FUN TIMES. Yes most females spent their time totally stuck in what to do with myself im single. ENJOY IT, DUH! But most are looking for that one, they spend there whole lives looking for it. I never did and who knew one day we'd meet in the middle(literally) 5 years ago. Im happily married(1 kid down, 1 step daughter). It takes alot to be happy, making two worlds collide into one. But we make it work, im blabbing . . .I will stop now. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. UnknownFebruary 5, 2014 at 6:10 PM

      I love babbling :) thanks for the comment. And yes it takes a lot to be happy .. Easier to be happy single in my opinion, but making two worlds collide to use your words, is also a beautiful achievement when it happens.

      Delete

Post a Comment

Most Read Articles

Joshua Tree: the perfect spot to DISCONNECT

Image
Joshua Tree has always been on my list and by always, I mean since last August when I moved to Cali and started mapping out mini adventures in my new home state. So I guess always might be an exaggeration, but I get a little anxious and impatient when it comes to traveling and exploring.  So after cancelling Joshua Tree in November because of an ear infection, and December being crazy busy, I was super hopeful for January. But my hopes were shattered, and Joshua Tree started to become more and more like a dream that would never come true.  Perhaps another person would have thought it wasn’t meant to be - but like i said before, when it comes to traveling, I am pretty tenacious. So finally on the last day of February, with much juggling of my work schedule and some crazy luck, I made it to Joshua Tree and woke up to this beautiful sunrise on the 1st day of March.  The perfect way to start the month, don’t you think?  We entered the park t...
Read more

Imagine dating your computer

Image
Saturday night I went to the theater and saw the movie " HER " by director Spike Jonze and I have to say, even though I liked the movie, it could have been better if someone had introduced us before hand. I could have made it better because we could have used stuff from my book . This is the part where you think I am super full of himself for saying that a Hollywood director should collaborate with me. You might even wonder: did she really write that and go back to read the paragraph again. Don't bother. I did. You didn't misread. But I promise I am not full of myself. I loved the movie. It was brilliant. If you don't know what I am talking about, here is a quick synopsis: a lonely almost divorced guy writes love letters for a living but cannot seem to communicate with the people around him. He then falls in love with his OS. Sadly OS is not some sort of code for Obnoxious Secretary, it is an operating system. The man falls in love with his computer, who ends ...
Read more

Rude or not?

A few weeks ago, a flight attendant working with me on a flight to India approached me and asked if she could ask me a personal question. "Sure," I replied. "Don't get me wrong, you are beautiful," she said. I remember thinking "wow it is starting really good - what will follow is going to be really bad." But it wasn't. She noticed I had acne and knew of a treatment to fix it. I laughed and told her to relax. Why would I be offended? I was thankful, and if you ever had acne, you can relate because you probably tried a million of creams and lotions, which all failed, so even a glimpse of  hope meant something. And that's exactly what Carmen gave me: HOPE. However when a stranger approached me yesterday with his business card and said to call him because he had something that would fix my skin, I was a little annoyed. I felt that it was out of place for a stranger to mention anything about my skin or anything else for that matter....
Read more