Gold (Louboutin) Diggers

When I used to live in Miami, gold diggers were everywhere and usually easily to  spot. Everything about them was fake aside from their $2000 Louboutin shoes.

Fake extra blonde hair, fake deep blue eyes, fake humongous boobs, fake puffy lips, fake extra white smile, and the newest of all: fake ass. I wasn't aware that kind of plastic surgery existed until a fairly normal and petite woman approached me at a clothing store and asked me who was my surgeon. Obviously she was not talking about my minimal cleavage that I sometimes even forget I have - which is great. I can run with no bra :) So I touched my lips, wondering if something I ate at lunch had made them puffy.

She waved her head.

"Wow your lips are done too. I couldn't tell. He must be really good," she said, her eyes bright with envy.

Completely confused, I didn't say anything. That's when she whispered. "Your ass ... I was talking about your ass."

Confusion transformed into shock. I don't think I uttered any sound for the next minute. She probably thought I didn't speak English, but it didn't stop her for continuing to talk to me.

"I don't meant it looks fake. It's a compliment!"

"It's not fake," I finally blurted out. "I did ballet for 15 years."

She apologized, looked at me as if I was a kid in the playground who didn't want to share her newest
toy, and walked away.

Now the reason why I bring this up is because a friend of mine was describing a night out and these were his words when I asked if he met any girls.

"Yes, none were pretty, just hot," he answered. "You could tell they were gold diggers," he added.

I guess pretty is better.

I asked him how he recognized gold diggers in NYC. I had not been able to make them out so far. In winter everyone wore heavy coats and even in summer, city girls didn't exactly wear neon pink bikinis with sea through dresses, not even in the Hamptons. So how did he know?

"Well she was wearing all of it but you could tell she couldn't afford any of it," he said.

I laughed for about five minutes, then I awkwardly got my Ipad out and told my friend to repeat what he said and expand, as if I were interviewing him. I use the word awkwardly because honestly it is a bit awkward, when you are hanging out with two friends, to stop the conversation, get your Ipad out and start typing. Luckily my friends laughed it off, after perhaps staring at me in disbelief.

But back to the heart of the matter. How did he know? How could a guy, with one glance, know that the girl who had just walked into the bar with a $3,000 Chanel bag and a $10,000 Rolex is not just a rich girl with a trust fund or a girl with expensive taste who works two extra part time jobs to afford a designer bag every two years?  How does he know she is just a predator after his bank account without even exchanging a few words?

I am not a guy, so you tell me.

Here is what my friend said: "you just know, there is an attitude, a certain way, something about the girl that says that if you give her the right things, she will give you pretty much anything."

So here is an example: same girl but different attitude.

I think She is Pretty 

However She is hot .... Yeah same girl ....

Agree or disagree?


  1. The guy needs to have previous experience and, also, he needs to be fashion educated. Aware not only of the prices and the various brands (even the more exclusive/boutique stuff), but also of the collections; i.e. how old the luxury items are. Usually, gold diggers don't have an amazing fashion taste, but they are about bling bling stuff that are in your face… Trying too much to impress (and blend in with the high society).
    Usually, the package includes a few plastic surgeries (as you mentioned earlier).
    Their group of people is very important. If there are a lot of gold diggers in the same group of people, it makes someone's job easier. Also, around them there are usually flashy, nouveau riche guys or old (married) guys, who don't care 100% about their intellectual abilities (that 100% is actually close to 0%)
    Their age… usually, their cougar-ish cause no man can stand them long enough. Thus, they are getting old and they are still single.
    Finally, that stare. OMG, they make you feel like a pray, if they are into you (or your bank account, from what they can infer from your Ferragamo shoes, Hermes belt and leather Prada jacket).


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