THE NOT SO BLONDE TRAVEL

Being a flight attendant, I spend a lot of time on planes, and very few things still surprise me. Strange behaviors sometimes develop  at 30 000 feet. But we are kimd of used to it, we love our jobs nonetheless and it usually makes really good cocktail stories.  But every time I stand outside the lavatory for over 20 minutes, I can't help but be surprised and wonder if I am missing out on something in there, something only passengers know about and don't want to share with us flight attendants. Maybe a secret button to access a bathtub spa, or perhaps a yoga room, or maybe even an exclusive speakeasy bar. You might think I am losing it, but I am very serious. I just can't see any other "reasonable" explanation to what people are doing in a  3x3-foot-dimension toilet for over 20 minutes or so.  Where is the button?  I know it's not super ladylike to talk about what is happening in a toilet, but I am just too curious not to ask for yo...

I will not complain about pouring Diet Cokes. Of course it annoys me that it takes so long for the bubbles to dissipate. It annoys you too, doesn't it? To have to wait an extra fifteen seconds for your Diet Coke while your neighbor already finished half his apple juice, but if that is what you really want, no problem with me. I have made peace with it. It is part of my job after all .... But I am OK with it, most days -:)  However, dear passenger, I don't grow fruits in the back of the plane to make fresh smoothies, and I cannot make an espresso at 30 000 feet in the air, let alone a macchiato topped with powdered cocoa. I couldn't even do this on firm ground sorry. So aside from serving you delightful Diet Coke and super amazing peanuts, and saving your life during an emergency, I don't have many talents. So next time, dear passenger, before asking me the unaskable, take a hard look at my uniform. Do you see a mechanic uniform? No. So why ask m...